Cat-O-Rama

I am one point from getting a B in English and my professor said if I write a satire then she will give me the point. Please tell me what you think. Thanks

It was November 5, 2008, our knight in shining armor was elected president, Borack Obama. Everyone spoke of change and new beginnings for the nation. Obama listed hundreds of promises before and after the election. Thanks to his stimulus package, our nation is now better and stronger than ever.
What is the best way to begin a presidency? How about free money for everyone! It is simple logic. The Federal Reserve prints the money and we just simply give it away. It’s like Monopoly money but in real life. There are no long term consequences and everyone is happy and has money. Look around, everyone is now driving BMW’s thank to the president’s 757 billion dollar stimulus package which, by the way, is the largest in history. We should keep up the good work by just printing out another 700 billion dollars of free money and distribute it equally among the United States citizens. This way, no one would ever have to worry about unemployment again.
In light of the Christmas holidays, everyone wants to get their children the very best. Thanks to the stimulus package, we are all able to make this possible. I have already managed to spend $15,000 to make this the best Christmas ever! I hope that the Federal Reserve does not run out of paper because I am starting to run a little low. For those who have no family, the stimulus gift has been a great way to keep warm. The warmth that comes from a dollar, literally, is much better than traditional firewood. A ninety year old woman explains how the stimulus package has changed her life, “Growing up I had nothing. Here I was ninety years old still with nothing. Thanks to Obama, I have it all! I have started a business in which I make kitty litter out of hundred dollar bills. Without the stimulus money none of this would have been possible. By the way, I think that the cats like it too”.
This is definitely a stronger nation than it was twenty years ago. We no longer have bums in the streets and crime has gone down significantly. In fact, if you walk through downtown Mobile you will see a few fifty dollar bills just blowing in the wind. Nobody cares anymore; money is just like a paper napkin. The only problem with free money is that not many people need or want to work anymore. So, trash is starting to line the streets and grocery stores are shutting down.
In conclusion, President Obama has exceeded his expectations. His slogan during the elections was, “Change we can believe in”. He has kept his promises and changed a lot of things. I hope that he keeps up the excellent job being president. He has already managed to fulfill the promise of getting or troops back from the Middle East. In addition to free money and our troops coming home, everyone hopes for free health care soon. Then his approval rating would definitely be at one hundred percent.

actually this is a pretty good satire. nice job

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So I was just wondering how much of Canadian Tax money goes into hospitals (ie cat scans, mri, research etc) and to continue to support free health care.

About 128 billion for 2009. Total Canadian health care spending in 2009 is expected to be about 183 billion, about 70% of that paid for by government. That 183 billion number will include things that aren’t paid for by government; dental, prescriptions, etc.

Hospitals are funded in two ways. They get a certain amount of funding just for existing to cover their fixed costs, and they also get paid based on the services provided.

If you want more exact figures for health care spending you would need to look at the individual provinces’ budgets. Most public health care spending is spent by the provinces.

Health care isn’t free, we pay for it with our taxes and/or public health insurance premiums.

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There was a Pied Piper who said,

“We live in the greatest country in the world. Help me change it!”

*And the people said, “Change is good!”

Then he said, “We are going to tax the rich fat-cats,”…

*And the people said “Sock it to them!”

“and redistribute their wealth.”

*And the people said, “Show me the money!”

And then he said, “Redistribution of wealth is good for everybody”

*And Joe the plumber said, are you kidding?”

And Joe’s personal records were hacked and publicized.
*And one lone reporter asked, “Isn’t that Marxist policy?”

And she was banished from the kingdom!
Then someone asked,“With no foreign relations experience, how will you deal with radical terrorists?”

And the Pied Piper said, “Simple. I’ll sit down and talk with them and show them how nice we really are and they’ll forget that they ever wanted to kill us all!”

Then the Pied Piper said, “I’ll give 95% of you lower taxes.”
*And one, lone voice said, “But 40% of us don’t pay ANY taxes.”

So the Pied Piper said, “Then I’ll give you some of the taxes the fat-cats pay!”

*And the people said, “Show me the money!”

Then the Pied Piper said, “I’ll tax your Capital Gains when you sell your homes!”

*And the people yawned while the slumping housing market collapsed.

And he said, “I’ll mandate employer- funded health care for EVERY worker and raise the minimum wage.”
*And the people said, “Gimme some of that!”

Then he said, “I’ll penalize employers who ship jobs overseas.”

*And the people said, “Where’s my rebate check?”

Then the Pied Piper actually said, “I’ll bankrupt the coal industry and electricity rates will skyrocket!”

*And the people said, “Coal is dirty, coal is evil, no more coal! But we don’t care for that part about higher electric rates.”

So the Pied Piper said, “Not to worry. If your rebate isn’t enough to cover your expenses, we’ll bail you out. Just sign up with ACORN and your troubles are over!”

Then he said, “Illegal immigrants feel scorned and slighted. Let’s grant them amnesty, Social Security, free education, free lunches, free medical care, bi-lingual signs and guaranteed housing.”

*And the people said, “Ole`! Bravo!” And they made him King!

And so it came to pass that employers, facing spiraling costs and ever-higher taxes, raised their prices and laid off workers. Others simply gave up and went out of business and the economy slowed even further. Then the Pied Piper said,

“I am the Messiah and I’m here to save you! We’ll just print more money so everyone will have enough!” But our foreign trading partners said, “Wait a minute. Your dollar isn’t worth what it was. You’ll have to pay more.”

*And the people said, “Wait a minute. That’s not fair!”

And the world said, “Neither are these other, idiotic programs you’ve embraced. You’ve become a Socialist state and a second-rate power. Now you’ll play by our rules!”
*And the people said, “What have we done?”

But it was too late.
I am not a Republican or Democrat. I vote for the person not the party.

Sounds like a TRUE nightmare to me.

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And it came to pass in the Age of Insanity that the people of the
land called America , having lost their morals, their initiative,
and their will to defend their liberties, chose as their Supreme
Leader that person known as "The One".

He emerged from the vapors with a message that had no meaning; but
He hypnotized the people telling them, "I am sent to save you. My
lack of experience, my questionable ethics, my monstrous ego, and my
association with evil doers are of no consequence. For I shall save
you with Hope and Change. Go, therefore, and proclaim throughout
the land that he who preceded me is evil, that he has defiled the
nation, and that all he has built must be destroyed." And the
people rejoiced, for even though they knew not what "The One" would
do, he had promised that it was good; and they believed. And "The
One" said, "We live in the greatest country in the world. Help me
change everything about it!"

And the people said, "Hallelujah! Change is good!"

Then He said, "We are going to tax the rich fat-cats." And the
people said "Sock it to them!" "And redistribute their wealth."
And the people said, "Show us the money!" And then He said,
"Redistribution of wealth is good for everybody."

And Joe the plumber asked, "Are you kidding me? You’re going to
steal my money and give it to the deadbeats?" And "The One"
ridiculed and taunted him, and Joe’s personal records were hacked
and publicized.

One lone reporter asked, "Isn’t that Marxist policy?" And she was
banished from the kingdom!

Then a citizen asked, "With no foreign relations experience and
having zero military experience or knowledge, how will you deal with
radical terrorists?" And "The One" said, "Simple. I shall sit with
them and talk with them and show them how nice we really are; and
they will forget that they ever wanted to kill us all!" And the
people said, "Hallelujah!! We are safe at last, and we can beat our
weapons into free cars for the people!"

Then "The One" said, "I shall give 95% of you lower taxes." And
one, lone voice said, "But 40% of us don’t pay ANY taxes." So "The
One" said, "Then I shall give you some of the taxes the fat-cats
pay!" And the people said, "Hallelujah!! Show us the money!"

Then "The One" said, "I shall tax your Capital Gains when you sell
your homes!" And the people yawned and the slumping housing market
collapsed. And He said, "I shall mandate employer-funded health
care for EVERY worker and raise the minimum wage. And I shall give
every person unlimited healthcare and medicine and transportation to
the clinics." And the people said, "Give me some of that!"

Then he said, "I shall penalize employers who ship jobs overseas."
And the people said, "Where’s my rebate check?"

Then "The One" said, "I shall bankrupt the coal industry and
electricity rates will skyrocket!" And the people said, "Coal is
dirty, coal is evil, no more coal! But we don’t care for that part
about higher electric rates." So "The One" said, "Not to worry. If
your rebate isn’t enough to cover your expenses, we shall bail you
out. Just sign up with ACORN and your troubles are over!"

Then He said, "Illegal immigrants feel scorned and slighted. Let’s
grant them amnesty, Social Security, free education, free lunches,
free medical care, bi-lingual signs and guaranteed housing…" And
the people said, "Hallelujah!!" And they made him King!

And so it came to pass that employers, facing spiraling costs and
ever-higher taxes, raised their prices and laid off workers. Others
simply gave up and went out of business and the economy sank like
unto a rock dropped from a cliff. The banking industry was
destroyed. Manufacturing slowed to a crawl. And more of the people
were without a means of support.

Then "The One" said, "I am the "The One" - The Messiah - and I’m
here to save you! We shall just print more money so everyone will
have enough!" But our foreign trading partners said unto Him, "Wait
a minute. Your dollar is not worth a pile of camel dung! You will
have to pay more…" And the people said, "Wait a minute. That is
unfair!!" And the world said, "Neither are these other idiotic
programs you have embraced. Lo, you have become a Socialist state
and a second-rate power. Now you shall play by our rules!"

And the people cried out, "Alas, alas!! What have we done?" But yea
verily, it was too late. The people set upon "The One" and spat
upon him and stoned him, and his name was dung. And the once mighty
nation was no more; and the once proud people were without
sustenance or shelter or hope. And the Change "The One" had given
them was as like unto a poison that had destroyed them and like a
whirlwind that consumed all that they had built. And the people
beat their chests in despair and cried out in anguish, "Give us back
our nation and our pride and our hope!!" But it was too late, and
their homeland was no more.

You may think this is a fairy

Oh, please. Who really cares what some religious nut thinks.

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So I have never had an issue with anyone on Craiglist yet. well… until now. I was looking for a free kitten to bring home. I found a lady who was giving her cat away because she could "only afford one" and she "had to work". The details she gave me about this cat is that the cat was a she, had normal poop, really sweet, and healthy, with no known medical issues.
So.. I get the cat and find out, one both her and the cat reaked (Sorry but it was bad enough to make me gag, and that’s really hard to do). The cat had massive bad breath, and once home we found out this cat (about 5 or 6 months old) is not a she, but a he.. No way to mistake his good’s. And he poops and we find out it’s runny and has worms in it. He has a bad case of fleas. And very junky ears (ear mites). I honestly can not see how this lady had taken care of this cat. She mentioned she had another cat that she was keeping. And I’m feeling so bad for that other cat. Does any one know if there is anything in Texas I could call and have it checked out? like cps, but for animals?

I used over the counter de worming for him. It made it better but didn’t get rid of it. The vet here is booked until Jan (it’s a low cost one), if it gets too bad I’m going to break and goto the high costing vet here. (He is scheduled for neutering in Feb (where they were booked to)). Any advice on anything else I can do with him to get the rest of the worms gone?
I gave him a flea/tick/lice shampoo bath (along with my other cat), It killed a majority of them but there are still a few lingering, and a lot of black flakey stuff keeps dropping off with no end. Anything else I can use on him?
He has some bad ear mite infestation. My friend is shipping me ear drops that she used with her cat when he had ear mites. and I’ve been scraping the junk out with q-tips making sure that i don’t push it in further. Any other suggestions with this?

The only thing this lady told me that was truthful is that he’s a lap kitty and really sweet. Sadly because of the worm issue I am worried about being so cuddly with him.
He also seems to cough but only 1 or 2 times a day (but that’s more than my other cat coughs (never)).
Because I don’t know him that well, I can’t really tell if he’s lethargic or acting diffrent from "normal".

Well, that is one unhealthy kitty.
Even when I got my cat, she was a stray that wandered up on our property, she didn’t look that bad.
If it isn’t any healthier by the time it get neutered, they won’t do the surgery.

Keep bathing it. Keep cleaning its ears. Keep worming it regularly. Keep feeding it.
You will also have to worm your other cat as well. I suggest identifying the worm and buying a medication that helps to target the specific species. Worms are highly contagious and have a multiple staged life cycle when they are most easily caught. You shouldn’t worry too much about YOU catching them. Take precautions though, wash your hands after you pet your animal, or touch and fecal mater. That includes changing a litter box. Make sure to wash your hand before eating anything. You can also quarantine you sick cat. Keep it in one room, outside, or off the furniture until it recovers. Maybe keep it in a dog kennel for a few days after worming?

It sounds lethargic. This could be caused by the parasites. It could also be a lung condition from sitting in a filthy house.

You might want to buy a special high protein cat food mixture to give it an extra boost.
About the woman, I’m sorry, but you need to call a social worker to go out there and inspect her house. That is unsafe living for her, and her animals. She will probably have to get rid of the animals, and she might even be evicted and have her house condemned. Its sad, but it is the best solution for her and her animals.

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And it came to pass in the Age of Insanity that the people of the land

called America , having lost their morals, their initiative, and their

will to defend their liberties, chose as their Supreme Leader that

person known as "The One."

He emerged from the vapors with a message that had no meaning; but He

hypnotized the people telling them, "I am sent to save you." My lack

of experience, my questionable ethics, my monstrous ego, and my

association with evil doers are of no consequence. I shall save you

with hope and Change. Go, therefore, and proclaim throughout the

land that he who proceeded me is evil, that he has defiled the nation,

and that all he has built must be destroyed. And the people rejoiced,

for even though they knew not what "The One" would do, he had promised

that it was good; and they believed. And "The One" said " We live in

the greatest country in the world. Help me change everything about it!"

And the people said, "Hallelujah! Change is good!"

Then He said, "We are going to tax the rich fat-cats." And the

people said "Sock it to them!" "And redistribute their wealth." And

the people said, "Show us the money!" And then he said, "

redistribution of wealth is good for everybody."

And Joe the plumber asked, " Are you kidding me? You’re going to

steal my money and give it to the deadbeats??" And "The One"

ridiculed and taunted him, and Joe’s personal records were hacked and publicized.

One lone reporter asked, "Isn’t that Marxist policy?" And she was

banished from the kingdom!

Then a citizen asked, "With no foreign relations experience and

having zero military experience or knowledge, how will you deal with

radical terrorists?" And "The One" said, "Simple. I shall sit with

them and talk with them and show them how nice we really are; and they

will forget that they ever wanted to kill us all!" And the people

said, "Hallelujah!! We are safe at last, and we can beat our weapons

into free cars for the people!"

Then "The One" said "I shall give 95% of you lower taxes." And one,

lone voice said, "But 40% of us don’t pay ANY taxes." So "The One"

said, "Then I shall give you some of the taxes the fat-cats pay!"

And the people said, "Hallelujah! Show us the money!"

Then "The One" said, "I shall tax your Capital Gains when you sell

your homes!" And the people yawned and the slumping housing market

collapsed. And He said. "I shall mandate employer-funded health care

for every worker and raise the minimum wage. And I shall give every

person unlimited healthcare and medicine and transportation to the

clinics." And the people said, "Give me some of that!"

Then he said, "I shall penalize employers who ship jobs overseas."

And the people said, "Where’s my rebate check?"

Then "The One" said, "I shall bankrupt the coal industry and

electricity rates will skyrocket!" And the people said, "Coal is

dirty, coal is evil, no more coal! But we don’t care for that part

about higher electric rates." So "The One" said, Not to worry. If

your rebate isn’t enough to cover your expenses, we shall bail you out.

Just sign up with the ACORN and you troubles are over!"

Then He said, "Illegal immigrants feel scorned and slighted. Let’s

grant them amnesty, Social Security, free education, free lunches,

free medical care, bi-lingual signs and guaranteed housing…" And

the people said, "Hallelujah!" and they made him king!

And so it came to pass that employers, facing spiraling costs and

ever-higher taxes, raised their prices and laid off workers. Others

simply gave up and went out of business and the economy sank like unto

a rock dropped from a cliff.

The bank banking industry was destroyed. Manufacturing slowed to a

crawl. And more of the people were without a means of support.

Then "The One" said, "I am the "the One"- The Messiah - and I’m here

to save you! We shall just print more money so everyone will have

enough!" But our foreign trading partners said unto Him. "Wait a

minute. Your dollar is not worth a pile of camel dung! You will have

to pay more… And "The One" said, "Wait a minute. That is

unfair!!" And the world said, "Neither are these other idiotic

programs you have embraced. Lo, you have become a Socialist state and

a second-rate power. Now you shall play by our rules!"

And the people cried out, "Alas, alas!! What have we done?" But yea

verily, it was too late. The people set upon The One and spat upon

him and stoned him, and his name was dung. And the once mighty nation

was no more; and the once proud people were without sustenance or

shelter or hope. And the Change "The One" had given them was as like

u

2 points for not reading past the first 3 lines. Thanks

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Royal Canin Veterinary Diet Neutered Cat Young Adult YWS 34 formula is a highly palatable, highly digestible, lactose free diet that is formulated to provide optimal nutrition for male and female neutered cats from operation until 7 years of age. The diet has been specifically designed to help address the major risk factors that affect young neutered male and female cats: struvite urolithiasis weight gain associated with neutering. * Veterinarian Approved: Care about the health of your pet. This product should only be fed with your veterinarian’s approval Ingredients: Chicken, water sufficient for processing, chicken liver, rice, pork by-products, powdered cellulose, vegetable oil, guar gum, calcium sulfate, potassium chloride, fish oil, natural flavors, salt, carrageenan, sodium tripolyphosphate, taurine, Vitamins [L-ascorbyl-2-polyphosphate(source of vitamin C), DL-alpha tocopherol acetate (source of vitamin E), pyridoxine hydrochloride (vitamin B6), thiamine mononitrate (vitamin B1), D-calcium pantothenate], choline chloride, marigold extract (Tagetes erecta L.), L-carnitine, Trace Minerals [zinc sulfate, iron sulfate, manganese sulfate, copper sulfate, potassium iodide]. Guaranteed Analysis %: Crude Protein 34 Crude Fat 10 Moisture 9 Crude Fiber 7.8 Review Snapshot by PowerReviews Express Be the first to review this product. Write a Review close

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This morning my cat brought home an injured baby bunny. We are trying to nurse him back to health to make him all better again. THe only problem is he is only a few weeks old. If he does make it I am afraid that if we set him free and back into the wild he will not be able to survive because he has been so used to being taken care of by humans. So should we let him go when he is better or keep him? Thanks to all who answer!!!

OH! That’s soooooooo sweet! I have a little bunny to-and we did the same thing with a squirrel after Hurricane Charley! Well, you have to think about this. First, is he appropriate for his surroundings such as children-you-the house you live in-the space of your yard and so much more! Second, do you think you have enough money and responsibility for this animal? Do you know who might take care of it when your gone someplace?And third,is there any dangers for this bunny around you-and do you really think he’s comfortable? I agree with you-you probably shouldn’t take him back to the wild-being used to humans-and since he’s that old-you should think for a moment-you cared for him-and he might not know how. Do the right thing.I say-keep him. But think about what I said and talk to your family-and go by your heart!

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